The years of growth!

In my young years, I found myself with the love of my life and a new family of my own that I wouldn't change the world for.  They say how opposites attract...boy is this so true.  My husband and soul mate also came from a childhood of torment, much the same as mine, but he learned different things from his life than I did.  In the process of us growing up together and trying to make our own way, came a lot of challenges. I learned optimism in my dysfunction and my husband learned anger and rage.  Through each other, we've learned to create the balance we live in today.  We had a beautiful son who is my pride and joy and keeps me in such awe every single day!!  I could have only dreamed of molding him into the wonderful young man he is today.  He is my greatest accomplishment in life and, I know I'm a little biased, but he is truly my shining star!

 

Growing up with the new family I created, I learned a lot about life and death, and learned to cherish each day in all of the beauty that life has brought to me.  My best friend, husband, and love of my life became diabetic when he was 17.  Throughout the years of learning to live with each other and this disease, I lived every day with the fear that he would not be with me very long in this world. He was on a quick angry path to destruction.  There was much sadness for us during the growing stages of our lives.  It was because of my fear of losing him that I made it my mission to make him understand that he is one of the most wonderful, precious people in this world and needs to treat his body and his disease as such so that he can be with us for a long time.  There were many long days and nights that I lived in fear of losing him.  I would pray to the angels every day and learned to trust in a higher power so that he may stay with me in this world until our old age.  It's only during trauma sometimes, that people start to appreciate the little things in life and smell the roses every day.  Being fearful of losing a loved one, one quickly learns that every time your feet hit the floor in the morning while you’re breathing, it is the most beautiful day there is.

 

Growing up as a young mother without a career, and a lack of self-worth or self-love for that matter, I had many odd jobs. Most of the years my son was growing up, I worked late hours and odd shifts bar tending.  I didn't want my son to be raised in daycare and watch him learn and grow from someone else.  I wanted us to be able to be the ones to mold him in his greatness.  The only way I could raise him without daycare, and work minimal hours a week, was to work late shifts and with the help of family.  These times were trying, but I would never change the steps I've taken to get where I am today.  Throughout the years, my husband, and being in and out of bars taught me a lot about myself and helped to undo minutely some of the damage done by the abuse in my childhood home.  I learned a lot about my self-worth.   I've realized since then that I am a strong woman who has endured unimaginable pain, and I can do anything I put my mind to. 

 

While our son was growing up, not only did we try to mold him into his greatness, but we also adopted his friends into our family just like my friends' families adopted me.  We were blessed with many little ones that we could help find their way in life, teach them great things along the way, but especially teach them about love in a loving environment.  My husband and I found much joy in providing a neutral place for many kids needing to learn that they were loved.  We all learned growing up, the joys of helping and loving those who needed to find their way.  Although my husband and I only have one biological child, there are many children that I consider my own who call home to wish us a happy mother's and father's day. This to me is what life is about and truly means the world to me.  We have lived and learned what it means to have such blessings and we cherish each and every one of them.

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